What chews my cud – Bacon Sandwiches at work

If you work in an office environment you will totally understand my qualm. I’ll paint a little picture.
It’s a warm Thursday evening by the Thames at a local watering hole having a couple of pints with some work colleagues. It’s a relaxed evening and you return home about 10pm. Your alarm goes at 6am and up you are ready to finish the week in style but you already feel the effects of those pints.
Sitting on a hot (normally delayed) train, you feel the beer sweats kicking in. It doesn’t help that you probably ran to the station in a mad frenzy as your ever so slight hangover has slowed you down.
Finally arrive to work maybe slightly later than usual but still before 9am to find that somebody had volunteered to go on a breakfast run. It’s normally the same person who would do anything not to work and find an excuse to leave the office for a while, likely to be a smoker and is always disgustingly upbeat.
Now your initial thought is this will be great, greasy food is just what you need when you are feeling a bit sensitive, the idea of how much this will lift your spirits kicks in, and you can sense the excitement in the air! You bypass all your loyalty cards in your wallet and locate those vital pennies towards your £1.99 bacon sandwich. You find that some people go large and get Bacon and Egg or Sausage and Bacon – the dare devils. Plus that dilemma Ketchup or Brown Sauce? Choose the wrong one and in your mind this is a game changer.
An hour later your colleague arrives, you knew this because you could smell the fragrant scent of the grease and a recently lit cigarette as they entered the building, you are on the 4th floor. By this point your stomach has serious issues from the alcohol consumption and I guarantee nobody has got coffee yet. You are desperate for some food.
After 15 minutes of trying to work out whose sandwich is whose you end up with a moderately cold sandwich, the grease has leaked through the paper and is now all over your desk and hands. The sandwich is eaten within 30 seconds leaving you feeling uncomfortably full and dying for a drink. At this point you clock that one person who eats half their sandwich and keeps the other half for later, some people have serious issues.
3 hours later, nobody has done a coffee round yet and you can still smell that lingering bacon fat stench along with the grease that no matter what you do is now a permanent feature to your desk for the next 2 weeks. You have been to the toilet about 6 times as it just keeps coming, you are not hungry for lunch which means dinner is delayed. That Joe Wicks diet has gone out the window, and all that for 2 pints on a Thursday evening.