What chews my cud – The word “festive”

A personal annoyance of mine, in December everybody must feel “festive” plus everything you do comes with the word “festive” E.G Festive Drinks, Festive food, Festive get together, Festive dog.
So no matter what you are doing you must be “Festive”, if your car broke down and your boyfriend left you it doesn’t matter it’s the “festive” season we must be Jolly, cheerful and high-spirited.
What defines a festive drink? This normally consists of friends meeting up in London during December for Festive Drinks. This probably doesn’t sound too bad but when you head to a pub in central London or any city in December you will encounter some festive problems.
Ladies and Gentleman I introduce the drunken office lunch, those who left the office at midday probably had an overpriced festive sandwich and by 5pm had about 8 festive beers. These folk will be jolly until about 7pm when the drinking binge kicks in leading to a variety of outcomes such as projectile vomiting, talking complete rubbish to strangers (I attract these people), arguments on the phone to there partners saying they are already on the train, festive fights, festive tears and festive falls.
The pubs are full, I like a good sit down and a nice beer but in December this is not achievable even on a Wednesday night you will see yourself stuck in a swarm of festive cheer. Yes somebody will put a paper hat on you and make you try a festive drink such a mulled wine which is absolutely vile.
Festive food put it this way if you are looking to go for a normal meal, this is impossible because all restaurants and pubs have their festive menu. There is only so much turkey one can eat, mix that with the mulled wine and you’ll be begging for that Bacon Sandwich in the morning.
The word festive should be banned and people should just use the word Christmas. When asked are you in the Christmas spirit? If it’s anytime before the 24th December the answer would be no, leading to the ability of having a nice drink with your friends a few weeks before without the anarchy.

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